Reflection on my Journal

     On August 19, 2015 I started my journey journal and completed my first entry. My goal was to reveal my inner journey, and I was hopeful that I could learn something from myself. I finished doing all forty entries, as well as 12 spirit circles. The notebook I used had only two pages left by the end of the allotted time. I followed all the rules, and dedicated ten minutes to each entry. However, the length of each entry varied, as the size of my handwriting changed throughout the journal. I remember that when I was in a hurry, I write a lot bigger than usual, which has the effect of making me write less and the opposite is true when I’m relaxed. Normally, my handwriting was in between the two extremes.

My Journal
Photo taken by me

     I remember having trouble trying to write every thought that came to my head. It felt like a race, and my wrist hurt a lot by the end of it. As a result, the first entry was pretty long compared to the others. I eventually got the hang of it and stopped stressing about it, letting the thoughts flow through my head, while writing at a much comfortable rate. While at first I crossed out grammar errors out of habit, I was able to stop myself later on, but it was always a struggle as it is something that is very ingrained in me. For me, it would’ve been easier and less distracting if I could cross out some words.

     Since the start, I went for the jugular and wrote about the constant worries I had in my mind. It was impossible not to, as they are ever present and never truly leave me. I don’t think doing the entries helped me in this area, as I felt even more anxious mentioning everything I have yet to do and acknowledging all my problems. Writing down my thoughts and feelings made me feel down, but it also helped me. Sometimes, I felt sad or mad and couldn’t quite explain the reason why. By writing down everything, I found that I could find words to explain why I felt what I felt. I also realized just how much the stress was affecting me, and made it a priority to meditate and exercise to help with my mental state. While reading my entries, I seriously considered the possibility that I may suffer from some anxiety, but doing yoga has really been beneficial to me, and I try to incorporate it in my week.

     For the spirit circles, the numbers didn’t change depending on the location, but it changed negatively as an exam drew near or even drastically after a discussion. My physical and mental numbers where the ones most affected by exams, as my neck hurts when I’m in stress. On the other hand, my emotional and spiritual state decreased after having a fight. I am not a spiritual person, so I defined the spirit segment as mostly being at peace with myself. By the end of this journal on October 14, 2015, I was able to learn a great deal about myself and even find solutions for the roots of some of my problems. I would consider having a journal in the future, especially if I feel lost or if I’m looking for solutions to some problems.