Reflection on my Blog

Credit

     After doing ten posts on my blog, I’m only just beginning to get used to Blogger’s interface. I found that the page had a slight learning curve, and it wasn't as intuitive as I’d like. Following other blogs and editing the blog as a whole proved to be the most difficult tasks for me. But at the end, I did enjoy coming up with ways to let my personality show in my blog. I think it came out okay, but I would've liked to personalize it more if I could. For example, by being able to customize the size of an image and putting it exactly how I’d like. I found myself yearning for a type of Myspace page where I could customize everything in a much simpler way. Still, I’m happy with the end product.

      Doing ten entries doesn't sound like much, and it isn't, but it required a bit of discipline to do each one usually by the next class and not let it accumulate. Similarly as when doing the journal, it was a bit difficult for me to have that pace, because I wasn't used to writing constantly. Some people have the talent of writing in a very witty and entertaining way, but at least I aimed to be open and honest in my opinions. I think that if I keep practicing by writing constantly, I will continue to get better at it. Or maybe it’s not really a skill, but a talent. While I’m not sure if my writing got better or not, I do know that with the readings I did on the “Journey in Literature” theme, I gained new knowledge and even have a different perspective on the idea of traveling. By writing a reflection on each reading, I felt that I gained a deeper insight than what I would've gained if I hadn't sat down for a moment thinking about the themes and the message the author wanted to bring across.

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Looking for Paradise

Geography of Bliss

     In Eric Weiner’s book Geography of Bliss, the author travels to various countries in pursuit of finding a paradise, a place to be happy. He writes about his adventures in a humorous way, making his travels truly engaging. He thinks that the recipe for paradise is that the place must be difficult to reach and there must be a distinction between paradise and ordinary life. I can’t help but agree with him, as most humans are happy when having more than their neighbors. One of those countries visited was Bhutan, where instead of giving the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) importance, they focus more on the Gross National Happiness (a term coined by Bhutan’s king).

     Bhutan, full of beautiful mountain views, people live a simple life. There is only one main road, and only recently do they have television. They are a poor country, where you may run into some dead people and face your own mortality. This makes the author depressed, but the natives agree that facing their mortality makes them happier as they’re not as afraid of death.  They have a firm believe in religion and reincarnation, on luck and deities in lakes. It is a strange place, but one where some people are able to find happiness by appreciating what they have.

Bhutan 

     At the end of the trip, he found he had become attached to that little known country, as well as his sometimes annoying but well-meaning guide. He concludes by saying that he would not have done anything differently in hbis life and every step in his life (negative or positive) has been just right. He knows he is okay, and while okay is not happiness, it is a start he is grateful for. Life is a journey of up’s and down’s, but if I manage to be okay for most of it, then I’ll be more than happy with my life.

Reflection on my Journal

     On August 19, 2015 I started my journey journal and completed my first entry. My goal was to reveal my inner journey, and I was hopeful that I could learn something from myself. I finished doing all forty entries, as well as 12 spirit circles. The notebook I used had only two pages left by the end of the allotted time. I followed all the rules, and dedicated ten minutes to each entry. However, the length of each entry varied, as the size of my handwriting changed throughout the journal. I remember that when I was in a hurry, I write a lot bigger than usual, which has the effect of making me write less and the opposite is true when I’m relaxed. Normally, my handwriting was in between the two extremes.

My Journal
Photo taken by me

     I remember having trouble trying to write every thought that came to my head. It felt like a race, and my wrist hurt a lot by the end of it. As a result, the first entry was pretty long compared to the others. I eventually got the hang of it and stopped stressing about it, letting the thoughts flow through my head, while writing at a much comfortable rate. While at first I crossed out grammar errors out of habit, I was able to stop myself later on, but it was always a struggle as it is something that is very ingrained in me. For me, it would’ve been easier and less distracting if I could cross out some words.

     Since the start, I went for the jugular and wrote about the constant worries I had in my mind. It was impossible not to, as they are ever present and never truly leave me. I don’t think doing the entries helped me in this area, as I felt even more anxious mentioning everything I have yet to do and acknowledging all my problems. Writing down my thoughts and feelings made me feel down, but it also helped me. Sometimes, I felt sad or mad and couldn’t quite explain the reason why. By writing down everything, I found that I could find words to explain why I felt what I felt. I also realized just how much the stress was affecting me, and made it a priority to meditate and exercise to help with my mental state. While reading my entries, I seriously considered the possibility that I may suffer from some anxiety, but doing yoga has really been beneficial to me, and I try to incorporate it in my week.

     For the spirit circles, the numbers didn’t change depending on the location, but it changed negatively as an exam drew near or even drastically after a discussion. My physical and mental numbers where the ones most affected by exams, as my neck hurts when I’m in stress. On the other hand, my emotional and spiritual state decreased after having a fight. I am not a spiritual person, so I defined the spirit segment as mostly being at peace with myself. By the end of this journal on October 14, 2015, I was able to learn a great deal about myself and even find solutions for the roots of some of my problems. I would consider having a journal in the future, especially if I feel lost or if I’m looking for solutions to some problems.

Forgiveness in Guatemala

Life is a trip 

     In her book “Life is a Trip”, Judith Fein takes the readers along on her adventures. She explores the different cultures from very different countries. One of those countries was Guatemala, where the themes of religion and forgiveness prevailed. Fein was curious on a little-known god called Maximon. She asked various people but received different answers. People described him as a saint, others as the devil, some as a trickster, and so on. But, while overhearing a guide, she learns he is a divinity who is also a sinner. As such, he is able to forgive the sins of us mortals.The idea that a god could be a sinner is truly very interesting and attractive. If a god also makes mistakes, then maybe it is easier for humans to accept that, being merely mortals, they could also commit sins and deserve forgiveness. It can be so hard for a person to forgive themselves, as the author realizes. She had spent some time asking God for forgiveness, but she hadn’t forgiven herself for her sins.

Maximon

     At the end, she gives Maximon a donation, maybe finally forgiving herself or at least taken a big step towards that direction. Later, she is capable of applying this new life lesson in her life. While spending some time with a friend, she realizes how tortured he is by his sins. She offers him comfort by telling him about the Guatemalan god who drinks and smokes, and is able to cheer him up. It is truly freeing when you realize that, just like you, everybody is just trying the best they can. We can’t escape the fact that we are imperfect creatures. That isn’t an excuse for all of our actions, but a reason not to torture ourselves when we make a mistake.

A Change in Perspective

“Every native of every place is a potential tourist, and every tourist is a native of somewhere. Every native everywhere lives a life of overwhelming and crushing banality and boredom and desperation and depression, and every deed, good and bad, is an attempt to forget this.”

Jamaica Kinkaid

     In A Small World by Jamaica Kincaid, the author mentions how every tourist has a home, someplace where they are full of banality and boredom. They travel with the sole purpose of escaping that reality. To accomplish this, a tourist visits almost exclusively touristic attractions from other countries, places where they sell a fairy tale, a false reality. These places do not show the reality of the country, but only it's best representation. The tourist is hated by the natives, who envy him for various reasons, like his capacity to look with rose tinted glasses the very place that brings the natives boredom and depression. They envy him for the fact that he can travel and leave behind his home for a little while, something the natives desperately wish to do but they are too poor. The natives see their home as depressing, and the author claims that every action, good or bad, is to forget their sad reality. I think she is partially right. Living in the same place and looking at the same things makes me start to take for granted my surroundings. We all seek to do new things and travel to new places, even within Puerto Rico. But I can still appreciate my home, and I don’t think every action is an attempt to divert our attention from that boredom. Of course, I am sure the story might be different if I was in a poorer country, and the author might only be thinking of these countries when she wrote the quote in her book. Still, her main point still stands. The difference between a native and a tourist is only just a change in perspective.

An Ousider in My Own Home

Supermarket in Vega Baja
                 Photo taken by me

Standing in a little supermarket in Vega Baja, Puerto Rico, I’m nervous on doing anything to stand out. Yet, today, I am an outsider. As an English class assignment, I have to act like a tourist and gauge people’s reaction. I knew that if I acted like an American, especially here in a small town, I would definitely get curious looks. But how would I act like an outsider? I considered my options that morning, remembering all the American stereotypes. I didn’t have Hawaiian shirts, or a safari outfit, and I didn’t know how to act differently, but I did know the English language well enough. I knew that to pull this through and make people believe me, even when I looked Hispanic, I’d have to react like I didn’t recognize well-known items in Puerto Rican culture. So, when I entered the supermarket that afternoon, I went in line to buy several food items, some fried food and a couple of typical candy from Puerto Rico. When my turn came, and making sure nobody was in the line behind me, I asked the cashier some questions on the food. The cashier was a young women that looked not much older than me. She looked at me confused and struggled with the English language while answering my questions. I was surprised by her patience with me, and her eagerness to help. I also got more strange looks by the customers that walked by.

After I left, I started thinking on how uncomfortable the stares made me feel. I knew most weren’t looking at me to judge, but where just curious. I knew that I’ve done the same thing to others when I go to a tourist location and I hear people talking in other languages. I look at them, my eyes filled with curiosity, just because I find them interesting. Yet, being the one stared at didn’t feel good to me, even if I knew the reasons weren’t negative ones. I don’t enjoy being in the spotlight. Still, I felt such gratitude towards the cashier. I’ve seen Puerto Ricans helping others, including tourists, pretty often. This is why I wasn’t surprised by her reaction, but it still made my day. I have felt like an outsider before, while visiting other states. Yet that day, I felt like an outsider in my own home. At the end, I learned how a tourist must feel in Puerto Rico, with all the positive and negative feelings that come with that. I’m glad that it was mostly positive, and that I was able to learn a new perspective.

While doing some research online, I was surprised to find that there is a negative connotation to the term “tourist”, a person who takes pictures of everything, only visits touristic places, and doesn’t interact much with the locals. Yes, I think it is important to travel to some less visited places of the countries you visit, and to interact with the locals and learn their culture. You should never limit yourself, but that includes doing things that a classic tourist would do. I recommend you read this article, which goes into 7 reasons when you should embrace being a tourist.

Connecting to the Characters in a Story

V.S. Naipaul

     In the book “Reading and Writing: A Personal Account” by V.S. Naipaul, the author manages to make the characters come alive. As a reader, I am able to immerse myself in his story, forgetting the where and the when of where I am. I imagined I was in rural India, and I empathized with the protagonist when he went through such a drastic change and moved to the city, feeling like a complete stranger and always out of place. He felt lost in his childhood too, as he knew he wanted to be a writer, but had not yet found his reason to write. 

Ramlila

     His characters are relatable, as we all have felt lost at some point of our lives. I still feel that way, and I wonder when will be the moment I realize exactly what I want to do in my life. I also felt his confusion, and felt the way he must have felt during his personal growth and self-discovery. I could really see how his experiences had a profound effect on him and helped made him who he is. The Ramlila, for example, a play based on the epic Ramayana, was what really cemented in him his Indian culture. As the author mentions, it lay below the writing he was later to make.  

Characters coming alive 

     The details in his story really make it possible for the reader to imagine everything the author is going through, and after reading the story, for example, I feel I really know what kind of person his dad is. Just by mentioning that he never finishes a story, one can assume he is easily distracted and absent-minded. Since the protagonist mentions him a lot, and how he read to him, I can know that his dad was a really good father who cared about his son and his education and had a deep effect in his reading and writing. The details say so much more than what it is written on paper. At the end, the author mentions he was “eaten up by anxiety”, during and after a hard time in his life where he suffered from poverty. He mentions it was an emotion he had always known, and I could really feel his anxiety during the whole story. In conclusion, to me, what really made the characters come alive is the fact that I was able to connect to them and really care about them. It mattered to me whether or not the author would be able to find his voice as a writer, and I felt happy when he found it.